Monday, July 21, 2008

Restroom Scenario

A scenario:

You're in a small, one-stall public restroom. Someone comes in and goes to the stall. They shut the door and immediately let forth an Orcish symphony of farts, squirts, plops, and grunts. You freeze, wondering should you be quiet and pretend you've left? Or should you make as much noise as possible to try to mask this excretory opus so they can believe you can't hear them? You decide on the latter. You aim your pee stream into the urinal bowl for maximum water noise. The flush buys you some time. You wash your hands with the faucets on all the way. You dispense paper towels with excessive force, you dry your hands violently, you slam the towel into the garbage and make your escape, shutting the door firmly behind you. You feel like you need to wipe your eardrums.

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