Thursday, December 6, 2012

Send Me Stuff

Hey friends. I recently got a P.O Box, which is similar to a normal household mailbox except that it's at the Post Office instead of my house, so anyone interested in murdering, raping, and/or pillaging me will find themselves murdering, raping, and/or pillaging the Post Office staff instead. Surprise!

The reason I'm telling you this is that having a P.O Box allows me to open my doors to FANDOM! Is there anything you've always wanted to send to me? Love letters? Hate letters? Anthrax-laced letters? Letters laced with newer, hipper, less cliche disease powders?
N00d pix?
Severed toes?
Books or other memorabilia which you feel would somehow gain value from having the initials of a heating-duct-installer-turned-debut-novelist Sharpied onto them?

Send all these things and more here:

PO Box 70565
Seattle, WA 98127


Anything you want returned to you MUST come with a self-addressed, pre-postaged return mailer to send it back in. Also, I'm sorry, but I can only ship things within the US, as international shipping requires a whole lengthy process of customs forms and waiting in line and every time I go through it costs me 1 day of my lifespan. My apologies to all the beautiful people living in all the mysterious shadowlands outside America.

Thanks friends. I look forward to reading your letters, signing your books, eating your home-baked cupcakes, masturbating to your n00dz, and being injured by your mail-bombs.